TMI stage 6.

I'm getting really annoying energetic sensations again. It's like that feeling where you put your hand on something vibrating really fast and it starts to hurt and go numb, but all over my face and upper body. I get some low grade exploding and pulsing piti here and there, but that at least has some degree of pleasure to it, albeit aggressive and almost painful. Idk if I'm just running into shitty higher grade piti or if it's something else. It covers up the breath and is very distracting.

I can see the path to stage 6 mastery, but it feels like I'm just doing it all wrong and am digging myself a hole that I will need to get out of. Cultivating introspective awareness feels more like a "maintain this sensation in my head that I associate with introspective awareness" intent rather than "maintain awareness of the mind".

I want the adept stages and Jhanas more than anything right now. If I can reach a clean stage 7 I will be so happy. It was such a relief reading that I don't need to cultivate any more TMI skills after this.

I've been reading "Turning Pro" by Steven Pressfield. Reading it I realized that the purpose of so many of my day to day actions are for disciplinary incapacitation. I don't go into the city almost every day to sit around and drink because I want to, I do it because it gives me an excuse to not meditate.