Oh boy, here we go:

• He didn't wash his clothes for three months. Not even for environmental or financial reasons, just seriously thought he didn't have to. Didn't care. Whatever. His socks were crusty.
• He would leave old food in his car... and then eat it. Like meat that his mom made him for lunch 3 days ago. I watched him eat a steak that had been sitting for 3 days on the dashboard of his Tercel, half-covered in tinfoil. And then he'd try to kiss me.
• He smoked which is just gross, wouldn't be a deal breaker but I'm including it as a reason because it bothered me.
• He showed up at my house when I was expecting him to come hang out with me, but he brought his asshole friend, and they were there for a bit and then I found out they'd taken Acid and so then they were stuck at my house for like 10 hours. I made them food, they ate it all, his friend ate most of it and then insulted my cooking, the BF didn't stick up for me at all.
• That same day he kept letting his friend wander into my neighbour's yards, discarding cigarette butts and half-drank beer cans on their lawns and in their gardens. I tried to get him to stop and tried to get the BF to do something about it but he didn't really give a shit. I wish I could say that was just due to the Acid.
• He blasted metal (not that I have a problem with the genre) from my roomie's speakers downstairs and I was gonna be okay with it until I got a migraine and politely asked him to turn it off, and then they wouldn't and if I turned it off they just went and turned it back on. Like bro, it's my house.
• He lied to me one night when we went out about how much he'd drank. I was drunk too, the one time I got to drink because he was supposed to be the DD. I was naive and 20 years old and probably should have known to not trust him, but damn you don't lie to someone that you're fine to drive. So he drove with me in my car drunk, turned left on a red light without stopping, sped onto the highway, got pulled over (thankfully, cause I probably would have died otherwise), and got my car impounded for a month because he was that far over the legal limit. He threw a tantrum after the tow truck took my car away.
• He never had a cellphone on him or he had a flip phone but no phone plan, again, not for financial reasons, just because he expected other people to have phones and to be able to mooch off of them. So of course he didn't call anyone to come pick us up, and I had to get my roomie to drive an hour to rescue us from the highway.
• His family bailed him out entirely when he lost his license, but he didn't help me get to medical appointments, go get food, or anything else that month I was without my car. He also didn't pay for it to get un-impounded.
• His brother was a cop but laughed about the DUI and wasn't mad at him at all. Also, just the fact that his brother was a cop. And not a nice one.
• He was in a super shitty band and would continuously prioritize them -- two boomer hippies -- over me or any commitments he'd made to me. Like he said he'd be over at 10, and 2am rolls around and I'm sitting there like "what if something happened to him?". Nope. He's fine. He just got high with friends and fell asleep on the beach, and doesn't have a phone
• He used to do sex work and was proud of it BUT I was currently an online sex worker to try and make ends meet and he had a huge problem with that. Even though he knew I was doing it before we dated and he wasn't going to help me not have to.
• He would help himself to my computer and check his bank account on there and show me his investments and savings (over 20k just in one account) and then he'd proceed to not pay his share of anything -- food, rent, whatever.
• After he used my computer, he left his gmail logged in, and I thought I was looking at my email account and saw a reply from a craigslist ad, and thought, "I didn't post on there..." because it was clearly about sexual services... and so I opened it, realized it was for him, realized it was him posting on CL looking for random people to come blow him behind his house (what)... so he was cheating on me, using my computer to do it, and criticizing me for my being an (online) sex worker.
• Sex always hurt with him and it never has with anyone else. I think I just wasn't into him... and he was bad at sex.
• He listened to 70s music that's like from a bad porno and he'd make those gross "sexual" faces all the time and I don't even know how I ignored that ever because it's a huge turn off.
• His house was a MESS. And he seriously lacked the basic skills to stock a pantry with bare essentials, remember to buy things like toilet paper, clean a bathroom... vacuum... like damn he did not have any of his shit together. And I was naive and people-pleasing enough to try and fix it for him. You can't fit that.
• He was 31 and I was 20 and that wouldn't necessarily be an issue (my partner now is 9 years older than me) but he was so behind in terms of maturity.
• He wouldn't fix his car, to the point where dust was blowing in through holes in the floor or something, and if we went for a drive in it we'd be coated in chalky dust, like your hair would be stiff from it.
• SO MUCH MORE oh god dear 20 year old self why did you put yourself through two whole months of that absolute garbage?