How's it going, Newlyweds?

I personally felt a little of this. I moved into my husband's apartment. I will say that 99% of everything in here is his stuff. My stuff is still in storage...waiting for him/us to go through his things and we start paring down.

That said, he has his routine already built in and wants something in certain spots and what not. I kinda feel like a guest living here but that is because I am using his stuff and don't know where he wants his stuff to go. The kitchen is his. He cooks for us so he wants things just so. I pretty much stay out of his way which is weird for me because before getting married I was the baker. I ruled the kitchen now I just sit and watch him do his thing. We eat well but I have KP afterwards and the mountain of dishes he leaves is sometimes unbelievable! I digress.

Ask your man what does he need to feel comfortable and state this is "Our place and I love that we are sharing it together. I love having you here with me". Sometimes people need to know that they have a say in something. Ask him if he feels the a particular room needs something and then let him design, change or whatever to make it feel his own and that he has a say in something.

ALSO, I have found that it is HIGHLY necessary for a guy to have a man cave. Is there anywhere he can have his own space? Even if you take a bed room and let him set it up as he desires, let him. My man is an artist and a collector. When he goes in his room I let him be. He is thinking and working out things in his head. My husband collects high-end Transformers and has a spot for them. I don't touch it nor do I mess with his art projects he has going on. Perhaps your husband needs a work area to which he has command over. If he doesn't have one, suggest it. His eyes might light up and the possibilities start gushing out of him.

/r/Newlyweds Thread Parent