awful. she's a mentally and emotionally abusive narcissist with bpd. she is neglectful, selfish, and bizarrely immature for her age.

all my life, she has never held a job for over 1 month and has always "borrowed" money from others and never prioritized her children's care. she has been in and out of jail and had her driver's license revoked and court-ordered to go to AA and drug testing because of multiple DUIs and drug charges. she actually asked me to pay her bail after she got arrested for being 'drunk and disorderly' when i was 19.

i cut her out of my life when i was 20, and had no contact with her for almost 5 years, until my dad died. since i was his next of kin, i was in charge of everything related to his death and had to temporarily return home after moving out of state. of course she showed up to the funeral even though my mom and dad hadn't been together since i was 3 years old. i sat down and talked with her after the funeral, and she told me that she started seeing a therapist and started going on medication to help with her mood swings. since then, i've allowed her to have limited contact with me.

i think she still thinks of me as a little kid instead of her fully functioning adult child, so it is still frustrating when she doesn't treat me with the respect i deserve. truthfully, the only reason i want to keep in contact with her, is because i want to keep in contact with my little sister. she's almost 16 now, and i feel like i've missed half of her life because of the actions of my mother. i feel so bad for leaving my sister with her, but i feel like i can't do anything to help her. when i tried to remove myself from my mother's custody at 15, i got put in juvie and then a residential treatment center because she just thought i was 'acting out', and hired a better lawyer to influence the judge's decision. i was always a good and quiet kid, taught to do what i was told and never question my mother's decisions. i was never into drugs or alcohol and never misbehaved. i just wanted a better life for myself after realizing a parent should never treat their child the way i was treated by her. honestly i'm still not sure how the hell i didn't win that case, with all the awful things she's done in life. i'm still traumatized from that time in my life, and i have had years taken away from my childhood because of that event. i can never forgive her for that.