I didn't say I was going to get them a boxed gift. I'm planning on going to the bridal shower in a month-ish and they are registered for physical gifts there.

I have just never ever ever been to a wedding where it specifically said "no boxed gifts". It just seems strange to me. I understand the whole "we have to transport gifts from place A to place B" idea. But the wedding is literally being held one township over from their house!

The reason why the parents' finances and frankly the bride and groom's finances are relevant to me in the situation is this: wedding gifts (as they were explained to me) were to help the bride and groom start their new life together. Sure it's a throw back to when men and women only lived together after their wedding. So they really were starting from the ground up. And I know that times are different now than say 50 years ago in that regard. (I know if I were having the big wedding, I'd be registering for better plates/bowls etc, a knife block set, and other small appliances to replace the shitty ones we have now after living together for 2 years).

The cash thing rubs me the wrong way because I don't have a choice. Now I feel the pressure of "how much money do I give?? My Fiance is part of the wedding party and needs to foot whatever bills that will end up being part of the wedding party means. Plus we need to get there and all the costs of going to a wedding. How much do I think covers our meals, and gives them a little more? Would $100 work? $150? $200? What can I afford to give them without being completely slap in the face level of rude??" Meanwhile if I could bring a boxed gift I'd go "Okay cool I bought them -this, this, this, and this- off their registery. 4 things they don't need to buy off the things they want/need and will hopefully use and enjoy for the next 25 years together!!"