When my husband developed ED, he started watching tons of cuckold type porn. We rarely had sex at that point because I couldn't even drag him to the bedroom. Then he came out about watching all the hot wife type of stuff. I eventually figured out that it was born out of fear and insecurity. He eventually admitted that if he let me do that then I'd have no reason to leave him. That kind of thinking really turned my stomach and eventually turned me off to it altogether. It had little to do with my pleasure as he initially had convinced himself.

I don't think experimenting with all that in the heavy shadow of ED did us any favors. He was closer at the time, but is even more distant now. It didn't fix anything. The ED is still there. The lack of contact is still there.