I am going to make myself massively unpopular with what i'm about to say but, here it goes.

​

If your husband made clear that he did not want anything to do with that baby, if he made it VERY clear that he was not willing to be a dad or involved in any way (financially, physically, emotionally, what not) he should not be obligated to do so.

She chose to go ahead with the pregnancy regardless, that's her decision and therefore she should be held responsible for it. She does not have the right to force something as lifechanging as a child on someone anymore than your husband has the right to force her to have an abortion. Equality and freedom of choice go both ways.

That being said, sadly the legal system is not geared towards this and he will probably have to pay child support. That's just how the world works.

You knew this baby was going to be born, you chose to proceed with your husband regardless. I know that it is hard and will be so forever, but you made an ''informed'' decision to still stay around. I guess the best course of action is to either re-evaluate or to give it some time and get used to it. The baby is not going to go anywhere, the OW is not going to go anywhere and frankly, the legal system is probably not going to change anytime soon, if ever.