I don't disagree with you. So let's take a step back ... This is what I'm saying
The bringing of life into this world is one area which men are decidedly marginalized. Very few if any people ask how they're doing or looking to cope with the situation. The 99% focus is on the mother (for good reason)
From OP's post it seems he is not taking well to it. She doesn't indicate he's been bad before. Staying out late. Drinking. It appears to be a recent situation ... So my suggestion is instead of telling him to "grow the fuck up" or "you have a curfew" is to take a step back and actually communicate with him. Ask him how he's feeling. Is he scared? Is he worried? Etc. Why is he acting the way he is?
That's the mature adult way of handling things. NOT treating him like a little bitch.