Remember that if you live in a western society the onus is on the individual to make suitable plans and arrangements for her/his own old age. And honestly, given the unwarranted pressure it puts on children, it should be the norm everywhere.

It is wildly irresponsible and incredibly selfish not to have researched retirement home options, geriatric nurse arrangements including the entire financial aspect of for this for oneself and then suddenly old age hits and one expects the children to provide that free labor.

Not even normal people should have this expectation, nor do they.

If the children want the parents living with them, that's an entirely different issue. I can see myself having the in-laws living in close proximity when they retire but only because my SO wants it and they are lovely people. Get this: they're not even westernes and do not expect us to take them in and care for them.

I talk to many people in their 60's and 70's who are truly responsible adults. They downsize, de-clutter and move into smaller, more manageable 1 floor apartments with elevators or at ground level. They have zero wish to invade their children's lives.

Your husband is completely wrong when he says it's the right thing to do. That is just the echo of a mantra borne out of intense guilt-tripping created by generations of panicked, aging parents.

The right thing to do? No. It is the self-abnegating thing to do. Stand your ground. This entire community has your back.