cracks knuckles

Okay, so, the first thing I need to do is grab a gun and run outside immediately. I take out the helicopter pilot GTA V-style and watch it spiral down, then I'll open the doors to my car in preparation for our escape. When the ponies come by, I tell them to get in the car immediately and hold off the cops in the meantime by putting my hands up but refusing to drop the gun. When all the pones are safe in the car, I drop the gun, kick it towards the cops, jump in the car as quick as I can and speed off. Now I'm on the run, the cops got my gun, and right about now it's time to have some fun!

We speed off downtown to a parking garage, get inside it and ditch the car immediately. We sneak around checking the doors of every vehicle until we find an unlocked one. We jump in the new car, hotwire it and drive off while the cops are still looking for the original car.

Now we can leisurely make our way down to Mexico, where we make a deal with one of the drug cartels in which we give them the artifact to sell in exchange for faking our deaths and shipping us off to, I dunno, Canada, or something.

A few days later, I'm in some foreign city, let's say Toronto. I've cut my hair, grown a beard and gotten colored contact lenses to change my appearance. I even have a fake ID, courtesy of the cartel. Everyone thinks we're dead, bronies all over the world cry for hours on end at the thought of losing the mane six to a criminal organization, and, most importantly, everyone stops looking for us. Now we just sit back, relax, and stare off into the distance thinking about all the horrible shit we just did.

Yeah, this one's a bit rougher and more stressful than the thing I came up with last time I participated in one of these, but it's still totally worth it for pones.