I think I am becoming an Incel.....and I'm afraid.

I think what made me like this today was Tinder. I had is up for a week now, and I had 2 matches who didn’t even respond. I continously delete it, then reinstall it when it gets like this. I wish I could just delete the past 3-4 hours. Luckily I didn’t write anything to any of my irl contacts.

Like I said, Tinder is shit.

But yes, I could be a better person all year round, not just now that I’m calmer. I really don’t want to hate anybody.

Glad to hear it, but get away from incel culture. Seriously. It's like being part of an anti-vaxxer community. Or a flat Earth community. It's just an echo chamber of bullshit that is going to corrupt your thoughts.

I don’t really know where to go to ask girls out.

I mean, it can be anywhere. If you try to strike up a conversation with every girl you're interested in then many will not want to be bothered, but some will be willing to at least make small talk. Of that small set, some might be willing to have a short conversation. And of those, if you seem interesting and confident enough then some may be willing to give you their number. Is that the easiest way? Certainly not, but it's a minimal investment of time and energy on the front end. The only point is that you can do it anywhere.

Having a social circle is important. Having friends who have well-rounded lives boosts your image. If you walk around a food court and one stall has a long line waiting to order and another is completely empty, which do you think probably has better food? Being seen as a social person who people want to be around implies that you are someone worth knowing, so it makes it easier to break the ice. This is especially true for meeting girls through acquaintances or friends of friends. If you're a girl, who would you feel more comfortable with: some stranger who you know nothing about, or someone who is friends with the same person you're friends with? That's a good way to increase your chances with girls because you skip the initial ice breaking stage because if [insert friend] likes you, then you must be a decent dude.

So how do you build a social circle? Well the obvious requirement is that you actually take the initiative and talk to people. Talk to everyone who is willing. If they're friendly, then get to know them. Any social hobby is great for this. Something where talking to people is encouraged and you meet on a regular (usually weekly) basis. Seeing the same people consistently is a good way to develop friendships, which is important because it's basically like a (very) easy mode of dating. Co-ed sports are a good example, just because they're easy to find and laidback. The bigger the city you live in, the more options there are. Anything can work really, as long as it's more than just a one-off. Hiking group. Board game/cards group. Cooking classes. Dancing lessons. Martial arts. Whatever suits you or interests you.

/r/Advice Thread Parent