I think I am going to kill myself tonight.

Hi. I'm not sure if this will help or make you feel any better, but I hope that it does. I'm going to speak somewhat rhetorically here. Consider what you will. Answer what you'd like. Just know that I genuinely and truly feel the same as you, much of the time. Do you have a favorite place that is nearby? Can you go there now and sit? If so, do. Do you have a camera? I find it enchanting and exciting to shoot photos with film. Buy a disposable camera if you can. The wait for photos to be developed is great, you never know what the images will look like until they are in your hand. It's terrific. I'd also recommend having a good cry. That doesn't cost anything, and it's a great release. Listen to your favorite music from five to ten years ago. Wash your sheets. Reorganize your things. Thank someone in your life that has helped you. Mess around on an instrument like a piano or anything available to you. Go to the library. Roam around. People watch. Buy yourself something nice. Try your hand at drawing or painting something. Do you have a favorite time of day or night? Experience it more often. I find sunset is a true joy, but rarely ever awake in time to see it. Eat your favorite food. Have a good laugh. Treat yourself to anything. Anything that involves being alive, feeling alive, or feeling anything. I know that getting better is hard. Being depressed is awful, to say the very least. I don't actually know of a string of words that describes what I feel today or most days. But I know that there is much to live for. I think of life as a game sometimes. Last one to the finish line wins. Evade death for as long as possible. It takes a strong person to evade death when they are taunted with it every day. It's like being the badass who carries the wounded to the finish line with them. Except the wounded in this case is an extension of the self. Be that badass. You are that badass. I know you can do it. My name is Katie, you can message me anytime.

/r/depression Thread