I know her! She taught me about mudras before I knew what they were. She is a powerful energetic healer and leader. She taught you the sacral lesson of the baphomet. It is a lesson I am learning in my own daily sexual practices without direct entheogenic usage, so I am familiar with it.

We all are equally male and female, however we tend towards certain gender energies for our one lifetime in order to experience them.

The goddess is a representation of your infinite unconscious self bringing to light what it is now time for your to remember and accept. In this case, she has gifted you the knowledge of your unity with the feminine. Carl Jung called this connection the "anima".

And yes, having a vagina is INCREDIBLE! I cannot choose between having a penor or vagoo. Both energies are so intoxicatingly appealing. I am excited to experience both energies an infinite number of times over an infinite number of ways in this infinite space we call our current multi-verse.

Why the fuck did I let all of it go there?

Because it was time.

You learned an incredible lesson. I'm so happy for you man.