Omg thank you. This validates how I feel. Did I love breast feeding and bottle feeding?! Of course! Did I hate the throw up from burping.... girlllll, we all did. I have had my oldest projectile vomit over my shoulder then try to "help me" clean it up while putting her vomit covered hands all over my face. (She is an empath and always will be, she was trying to caress my face while I cleaned it up and was telling me "you do a good job mama") which was so incredibly sweet for her little heart but also so fucking gross. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement, I know deep down he will never step up, nor care, so I have a hard time moving out. I know my girls wont have the care or kindness when they have their visitations with him. He is not willingly abusive... just doesnt care for other people's needs. Including his children.