I know I should attempt therapy, but I feel nothing for myself. Has anybody overcome this to find the motivation and discipline to care enough?

I really really lucked out in that the first therapist who was recommended to me by my doc just happened to have an opening 1.5 weeks after I called. She got me hooked up with a DBT group she co-ran soon after. I'm moving and looking for a new therapist now and no one I've called can see me until February, so I see how rare that is.

And yeah, honestly kind of was at rock bottom for a long time, like 8 months. Got divorced from an abusive relationship, burned through my friendships, was drinking a lot, didn't have a job or much money. Was v. close to not having a place to sleep which really really scared me. The relationship instability was nothing new, but not having a place to stay was frightening. I got really lucky that a cousin agreed to help me out and give me a place to stay as long as I promised to get help and make improvements.

I was 25, so I was also lucky that my dad was willing to keep me on his insurance. Not much changed for the first few months because I was in such a state of intense paranoia, self-loathing, and reactivity, but I knew that my housing situation depended on my staying in therapy so I did. Really not the best situation, but I don't regret it I guess because it helped me get better. I can also see how I was very lucky that my cousin, who I had treated very poorly prior to that whole situation, was kind enough to let me stay until I got back on my feet.

/r/BPD Thread Parent