IAmA Sugar Baby, AMA.

I can't really agree with that. I too have been going through all that since my early teens, and all I've really found is that I was missing a whole life of experience that is the other side of things. Emotionally stunted in a way - I had matured greatly around experiencing only anxiety, suffering, guilt, shame, grief, loss, etc. - but the years of experience that come with truly being confident, comfortable in one's own skin, compassionate, understanding, empathetic, just being able to know happiness and not feel uncomfortable in it - I didn't have these skills. I didn't have the command of them, the nuance that would allow me to understand a collection of emotions together. I was uncomfortable in the stillness and the chaos - to be incredibly happy and incredibly sad at the same time, it made me feel insane.

It's more that there's a lot of sublety and nuance that comes with the whole of it. You may experience a wave of one kind of feeling from life experience, followed by another, or you may experience all of them together. But time, experience and self reflection, it's more being able to comprehend the collective experience over more time, that really constructs maturity.

I used to think I was very mature for my age, until I fell in love (the first and only time I've truly fallen in love - I've had many relationships, but none of them felt like love) with someone who was 29 years older than me, when I was 25. And I continue to feel worlds apart from him, mentally, like I'll only be able to understand what he sees, when I'm that age, and there is no way to speed it up, regrettably and gratefully.

/r/casualiama Thread Parent