IamA survivor of living a few years in a hard core state penitentiary at a very young age. I went on to a successful education and career. AMA.

Sure.

Do's and Dont's-

Stay connected with outside world as best as possible.

Establish a relationship with a counselor or staff member other than a guard.

Be cool with the guards but don't be buddy buddy.

Don't get sucked into an affiliation or prison gang right away. Try to fly solo and under the radar.

Don't eat too much of all the starchy food in there. It's easy to blow up and get fat.

Don't back down if someone gets in your face or threatens you. You have to be ready and willing to throw blows or even stab someone of they come at you. The whole 'shank' think is real, but not as common as in the movies. Fact is that everyone had pencils and pencil sharpeners were available to use at the guard station on each block. Have a sharp pencil. Be willing to either get beat to a pulp, raped or stab someone to avoid the first two. That's the reality that you have to absorb.

Be leery of people trying to do you favors. They always want something in return.

Don't gossip. Especially if you aren't in a gang. It could get your ass beat.

Unfortunately..... If you're white, don't become a racist, but also don't run with black guys. The Aryan gang members will torture you for that. Exact same advice in reverse if you're black.

Don't break rules for anybody. If you gotta break some rules better to get punished if caught for something you were doing for yourself instead of manipulated into it. Y someone else.

Don't try to maintain a romantic relationship with someone outside. It will drive you nuts. Just be pen pals with lots of people.

Learn to enjoy reading. Learn to enjoy writing. Explore your creative side. Make some shitty art if that's all you can do, but explore that.

Lift and exercise, getting and being strong is good for your otherwise low self esteem given the situation. Also keeps your mind working better.

Make 3 or 4 real friends. Guys actually get to know real well. People that are good but just messed up. That you have some things in common with etc. They can make it easier to deal with not being in a gang. Stick together, eat together, play cards, work out, etc.

Make amends or plan to make amends for your mistake. Reach out to the victim of your crime and be real. Be compassionate and show your true remorse.

Most of all... make a plan for when you get out. Challenge yourself. Set the expectation that it will be hard. Create fall back options that don't put you back in prison.

/r/casualiama Thread Parent