If I catch a baseball at a Major League game and you send your kid over, you're the ass hole, not me.

Once, as a child, I nearly caught one when there with cub scouts. As it was coming in people started clamoring to my area and I heard one guy behind me, "I'm taller than him" and was immediately behind me, leaning and reaching over me. Being a short kid, I squatted down and jumped hard. I rammed my skull into that fucks jaw in the most glorious of 'uppercuts'. He went down, I missed the ball, and my dad saw that it was intentional. Some other kid in my troop got the ball. The man bit a hole through his tongue, lost 2 teeth, and had to leave. My pack leader insisted that I apologize, and my dad told them, "No, if that guy hadn't been trying to push him down to get to it, this wouldn't have happened." I never offered an apology, as I said, it was intentional.

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