If you're sick of being afraid of what people think, you're on the right track. If you're fed up with the way you've lived your life, that's not always a negative thing. You sound young, and many people don't decide that they don't want to give a fuck about what people think until their 50 or 60 and start wearing black socks with tennis shoes at the supermarket.

I spent the first 30 years of my life doing drugs and being a general waste case, so I get the feelings of 'oh my fucking god, what the hell did I do? what the hell am i doing? and it's entirely useless to even clean this mess up because it's too damn late. fuck me im useless." Although I know your experience is very different from mine.

It's not too late. It never will be. Now that you're sick of thinking about how other people are judging you, you can redefine how you see yourself. And if you can change that, you can be any damn thing you want to be. Get so angry it motivates you. That it becomes a fuel for bettering yourself one single motion at a time. Get so incensed with how you used to think that it dies and you become something brand fucking new. Brand spanking, shiny fucking new and untouchable. I usually tell people that old me is dead. Gone. Not coming back. Who I am now is redefined entirely.

But don't let the world tear you down. Nobody out there has such a correct opinion of anything to be considered the absolute truth. Anyone who says they've got the right answer to things as objective as 'who we are' is a certified assclown anyway. Especially the maintstream media douches with their "average" body sizes for both men and women.

Rock the shit out of who you are, and things will move like water.