I can think of a handful for Computing Science:
Announcing a new BSc curriculum that will be the first computing science program to be accredited by the Canadian Engineering Accreditation Board under the new Applied Sciences and Technology Accreditation Council (ASTAC), designed for programs that don't lead to the designation of Professional Engineer (P.Eng). The School delivers a message for those who are disappointed by the change: "If you want theory, go to grad school!"
CMPT 275 will now be taught by Fred Popowich, and include fundamental elements of CMPT 276, 373 and 473 so the course "will not be as useless."
All future TA, sessional and faculty positions will require a CAEL score of 70 or higher if the applicant recieved an undergraduate degree at an institution where English is not the language of instruction to ensure that all instructors and TAs in the School of Computing Science can actually speak English. Relevant TOEFL or IELTS requirements will also include the caveat that the exam must be administered in the US or Canada because "many applicants come from countries where it's easy to cheat on these exams."
Other ideas:
The School of Engineering Science unveils new majors in Mechanical, Civil, Chemical and Geological Engineering programs so that "suburbanites don't have to commute all the way out to UBC." They add that "Prospective mechanical, civil, chemical and geological engineers will no longer be forced to choose between three hour roundtrip commutes, paying $1000 per month for UBC residence, or trying to convince their parents to move to the west side of Vancouver."
The Department of Physics announces a researcher at TRIUMF has grown glow-in-the-dark eyes, laser vision and a gecko-like tongue after being struck by the particle beam. The department goes on to say in a statement that "Yes, this is exactly what happened on that Simpsons episode where the monorail comes to Springfield, only that was a TV show and this is real."
Department of Mathematics develops a campaign called "Generally, Analytical Learning Often Is Sucky" designed to get children to stop learning math in grade school. ("You might as well quit while you're ahead. There is no more money to be made in math," says mathematics professor John Stockie, whose lucrative applied mathematics research with industry partners like Teck Resources has all but dried up in the past few years.)
The Faculty of Environment will require all undergraduate applicants to fill out a questionnaire about pipelines, LNG, mining and nuclear power. Any applicant with hippie views on energy and resources will be directed to the Bachelor of Environment program and will not be allowed to go into the REM, Geography or Environmental Science majors.
The School of Criminology announces a new course: CRIM 099-2, "Seminar on Metro Vancouver Police Forces", required for all students in the program. This course will explain that just because you got into Crim, doesn't mean you'll necessarily get into the VPD.
Chemistry: Announces the BSc in Recreational Drug Synthesis and Manufacture, responding to the fact that are no jobs in pure chemistry. It will have the following concentrations: Cannabis and Cannabinoids, Amphetamines and Stimulants, Psychadelics and Opiates.