I'm late 20s and have had long term relationships (including rn) if that matters.

I'm guessing your reply will be that this is all talk and doesn't match reality, but I really don like the polarised gender norms you are expressing. As a woman, being vulnerable is fine, but it's problematic to link that vulnerability to sexuality. Women are not always vulnerable. Sometimes they are strong and independent. Sometimes I want to be able to be strong and independent and look after my guy. The flipside should be true for men.

It's definitely a grey area though. For context, I dated a guy for over a year, and it was great, and then suddenly.it wasn't. He started shutting off from me, and refusing to talk for long on the phone (was long distance) etc. I had no idea why and I was so confused. I just thought he had met someone else. It turned out that he had had a mental breakdown and had been suffering from depression without telling me. Our relationship broke down. Not because of his mental health issues, but because there was a loss of trust, and the damage done by the lying and heartbreak was irreparable.

In contrast, now I'm dating a guy who also has mental health challenges. But he has been open with it from the start. I respect that so much, and I think it is sexy how brave he is despite the challenges he faces. I try to support him in any way I can, and I know he would do the same for me. It's the trust and respect from.mutisl understanding that is key.