If you want to hear a very long story and give me some advice with relationships, I'm your guy.

This story is copied and pasted from some messages i sent other people, so if you see fast forward it just means there is a gap in time between when i sent the messages.

So I'm going to cut right to the story. I was part of a group of kids back before even middle school. Couple boys, couple girls. That's when I first became friends with this girl, I'll just call her C. At the time I was actually dating her best friend, but I do not really consider pre middle school relationships to be anything (and middle school too, for that matter!) Anyways, me and C's best friend broke up after a couple months of that whole deal. The group split, boys stayed friends, girls stayed friends, but the two sides didn't really talk anymore. Come middle school, C's best friend moves, and we don't have any hard feelings for each other so we talk once in awhile. Fast forward to the end of middle school C gets into a relationship with a kid I talked to, but he wasn't my best friend or anything. That relationship lasted until about 2-3 months ago. Back to freshman year (sorry for the back and forth) I started to become really good friends with C again. End of the year, and I kinda grew a crush on her. I shook the crush off, because 1. I was somewhat friends with her boyfriend, 2. I respect people's relationships, and 3. I knew she wouldn't turn her back on her boyfriend. With the crush I realized what a awesome person she was, she was easy to talk to, trustworthy, nice, stayed out of girl drama. Seemed perfect but oh well. She invited me to a bonfire at the start of summer and that's all the contact we had. Summer went by, I shook her off. Went to a carnival at the end of summer and she was there. Me and my friend were about to leave but decided to stay and hang out with her and her friends. Come sophmore year, I decided I needed to find a girl. Ended up chasing her somewhat slutty bestfriend, asked her to homecoming and everything. I still talked to C during the whole me and her best friend deal, she even helped me line up a solid spot to ask her best friend to homecoming (thats how cool she is) Well after another month of effort, I just decided feelings werent mutual. gave up. Still continued to talk to C very often. Started talking to C daily. Fell for her again. She still has a boyfriend. Oh well. Well come early november they break up. I sent her a nice message day of the breakup, "Hey sorry about your breakup but I feel worse for him because you are a really amazing person." She sayed thanks alot, hope we stay good friends. So, while I give her time to get over her breakup, my best friend (who I believe might have the exact same on and off crush feelings for her) drops his efforts on another girl and immediately starts going at C. Asking to hangout, come over and watch a movie, blah blah. She is going through a rough patch and continuously turns him down, saying she "needs some time after her break up" dont know if she really needed time or didnt want him. Anyways, he slows up on her and then about 2 months after the break up I start at it. Hey lets hangout, to which she said ok. Didn't end up working that time, but we still talked just as often. I didn't consider it as getting turned down, but they just weren't solid plans, and she ended up being at her grandmas house. She is a pommer and I decided to go to one of her competitions and support her, end up talking to her and her best friend afterwards. They ask to get a pic and I said, ok! But this is when I realize she still might think I have feelings for her best friend. So, I spend the next bit throwing hints out that I am not into her friend anymore "Ah I don't think she really cares for me. Plus whenever I'm around her I'm never myself anyways." The last thing I wanted was to have her thinking I was using her to get to her best friend. My crush is to the point where I have never liked anyone more. I feel bad for her when she is in a bad mood, try to cheer her up. I love to talk to her. She comes to a couple of my basketball games, but I don't really play (I'm short and not the best, but I made the team at least!) She could be coming for other people on the team, but she always tells me specifically (I'm not sure about anyone else) when she is coming to my games. Makes me happy. Come winter break we talk over text a couple times. Normally I'm the one to send the first message, but she sends a first message once or twice. My birthday is the 28th of december, she wakes me up with a phone call. It literally made my whole day. I was so happy. I've got basketball practice, come back to find out she posted on her instagram. Happy birthday post to me! She used the pic we took at the pom competition. Makes me even happier, I don't think she realizes that she made my whole birthday. So we are talking throughout the rest of break and I throw out a casual "we should go ice skating!" she said yes, but then asked to take her best friend. I said I didnt mind, and then decided I really did not want to end up being a third wheel, so I invited my friend. The same one that also had a crush on her. I thought it was better than third wheeling so I'll give it a shot. Well her friend doesn't even come and its just the three of us, C, my friend, and me. I talk to C, have fun, help her up a couple times when she falls, she ended up almost running into me and half hugging me at one point. Doubt she did it on purpose, but hey, i was still happy either way. More than I probably should've been, but oh well. The bad thing about the whole ice skating thing is that my friend flirted with her nearly the whole time. and i felt like she flirted back. That one really backfired on me, but I shook it off and just had fun. She seemed to have an ok time, and that was that. I still talk to her nearly daily, school is coming back tomorrow, and plan to continue and talk to her daily. I really like spending time with her, and have plans to ask her out this week. I can drive, so maybe take her out to dinner or something.

Sorry for whole long that was, literally took me 20 minutes to write, but it feels good to get off my chest even if you don't read. I just wanted to hear any advice, or comments about the whole situation. Thanks so much!!

fast forward

So I just asked her "do you want to do something this weekend?" to which she instantly said yes. then asked what, and we decided we will figure it out. I have plans to take her out and get some hot chocolate, she always says shes cold so i figure id "warm her up" Is this a date? or are we just hanging out? is it good either way? There is a dance coming up next month where the girls have to ask boys to it, and I really want her to ask me. Other than continuously talking and maybe getting together a couple more times before then, what can i do to get her to ask me?

fast forward

Hey not to continuously bother you about my whole relationship situation, but if you remember the whole deal i was wondering if you could give me any more advice on where things have gone. Last i told you we had a get together lined up and i wasnt sure whether or not it was a date. well turns out, that weekend didnt workout, bad roads my mother wouldnt let me out and she had to visit her grandpa anyways. we talked about doing it next weekend and the following monday, and called it good. the friday of that week she mentions having to babysit saturday night and other saturday plans and i mention our plans and she says we should do it sunday. well sunday(today) comes and she says she cant because her parents are telling her she is never home and apparently they are all video chatting her aunt. It really felt like she was just continuously dodging(im not wrong for assuming this right?) and i threw out, a "hey it kinda seems like you dont really wanna get together, just let me know if you dont want to so i dont end up forcing you to hang out with me" and she responded "of course i want to hang out your my friend why wouldnt i?" and i said "well im guessing you dont know if this is a date or not, and you probably dont want to go on a date, but really idc what it is. i asked you to hang cause you are fun to talk to and i figured why not" then she said "she just thinks of me as a friend and she thought we were just hanging out" and i said "ok" and "sorry if i made things awkward, i guess im just a straightforward person. at least we know we are both on the same page now." she said "its ok i like straightforward!" and i said "so since you have regionals(she is a pommer) next weekend, i guess we can figure something out after that" "yeah" "and ill still be there (we already takled about me going) "saturday at 10:15 right?" "yeah ill see you there" with some winky tongue out emojis. did i totally mess up or did i do the right thing. shes not an awkward person and we have been basically best friends for quite awhile, im just hoping this doesnt make anything awkward. also i dont know if she thinks i have a thing for her now which could make things awkward. I am also currently nurturing the fact that she does not feel the same way about me and that im stuck in the friend zone.

If you managed to read all of this and follow through and give me advice, thank you very much. This situation is literally what i care about most in life(probably shouldn't be) and your advice is meaningful to me!

/r/Needafriend Thread Parent