If you need help

I've been down this road... I got help and things haven't been better since.

I PCS'd to a new base, new airframe, Staff select, etc. I had a long road ahead of me. There was a lot of pressure on me to get my training done within a year. I broke. I am able to self identify my problems and say "I have a problem, I need help." I sought that help and it took some time. After seeking the help I had a time where, out of nowhere the thought of suicide hit me. It scared me to the point I got on the medication. I knew I needed more aggressive approach. In September of 2014 I went on leave back to the states and this is where things changed for me. I realized that my problems didn't matter it's not worth worrying about. I verbally told my leadership "Sir, for lack of better words, I don't give a fuck anymore. My life is more important than this crap you're putting on me.".

I've been off the medication for almost a year and it still holds true for me. This garbage is petty. I will do what I can the best I can, if you don't like it then it's your problem. I'm not going to stress myself out playing their games and worry myself into the ground. The stress was so bad that I lost 30lbs in 6 months.

TL;DR: IT'S NOT WITH IT! There is nothing worth losing your life over. Sometimes you need something to calm you down for a bit so you can figure things out for yourself. I hear people say " It changes me." Or "I'm not myself when I'm on this or that." Well, yeah. You need to not be yourself because they way you are can't handle the environmental stressors. You may need to change your mindset. That's what I did. Your mileage may vary and my situation may or may not help you but there are different ways to help different people in different situations.

/r/AirForce Thread