if you’re a lesbian, can being sexual with men be considered self-harm?

I know this is an unpopular opinion and I want someone to explain to me why I'm wrong, but I dislike using the term "self-harm" in every context when a lesbian has sex with or kisses a man. I know it can be awful and emotionally traumatic, but I hope someone can hear me out.

I used to have such bad depression I would sit in my bathtub and cut myself for hours. I will have those scars for the rest of my life. When I think of self-harm, that's the kind of thing I think of. It was traumatic, permanent physical injuries. Maybe Self-injury is a better term for my experiences, but I've noticed a trend of people saying anything bad they do to themselves is self-harm.

Which I guess, technically it is, but I don't know what to call my struggles anymore to get across just how bad it was and it sucks seeing people say "Oh, I self-harm" when they 1) don't have a mental illness and 2) that mental illness didn't cause them to do the harm. Making unhealthy choices doesn't automatically mean it's self-harm.

Hoping someone can shed some light on the logic of wanting to claim self-harm for me. OP I'm really sorry for what happened, I'm sorry you went through that, but I'm glad you seem to have really good friends.

/r/actuallesbians Thread