If I read one more post/comment about how we need to simply fix the adoption system instead of worrying about roe v wade being overturned…

Additionally, as an adoptee, adoption is traumatic. Any way you slice it. Whether it happens at birth or otherwise adoption is traumatic. Being surrendered by your birth parents is something that wounds a lot of us in the adoptee community--even in cases where the adoptive parents are primo.

ESPECIALLY in cases where the adopted is raised by a family outside of their race.

People do not give a shit about how adoptees feel about their adoption because in the eyes of society at large we are told to be grateful that someone took us in at all. No one gives a shit about the trauma birth parents experience either.

The way we discuss adoption in this country is always from the narrative of the upper middle class people who adopted, never about the kids or the often low income birth parents who had to give away their kid because of thousands of different social, emotional, and economic factors.

And like, I'm not demonizing adoption but it's fucking crazy to me how casual people suggest adoption like the kids and their biological donors don't even fucking matter. People talk about how much money adoption costs but nobody talks about how a child feels about being surrendered or removed from their birth parents.

That shit marks you for life. You never forget that you were given up. You grow around that as a fact of who you are.

Sorry for the rant I just get so hot about this and therapy has not helped.

/r/breakingmom Thread Parent