If I really do have Multiple Sclerosis, I'll take a lethal dose of Alcohol + Morphine.

I get it. I was 18 when I had my first relapse and a new 19 when I received diagnosis. One night I started feeling a numbness that began in my toes and spread up the right side of my body. It started when I was in the backseat of my friend's hotboxed car, so I assumed it was because I was high and paranoid. When I woke up the next morning I was still numb on the right side up to my neck. I refused to deal with the situation but after a couple weeks of it not going away my dad found out and dragged me to the ER. I was referred to a neurologist that suggested MS, he ordered an MRI, and I was diagnosed a few weeks later.

The news hit me like a bunch of bricks. I cried in the neuro's office and buried my head in my dads chest. I stopped listening and kept crying. My only encounters with MS were with older people and was quite limited... a lady that lived up the street has it (still going strong, I believe she's in her late 60s now) and my best friend's grandmother with aggressive progressive MS passed away when she was little, unrelated resins. The stories scared the living shit out of me, one lady in a chair the other a walker with dementia before 50 - how could I have it at 19? I'll be using a cane, walker, wheelchair any day. What's the point? Where do I go from here if I'm just going to be disabled in the next few years, before even graduating from college? I wanted to just get things over with and not suffer through symptoms that I felt were guaranteed to happen. I spiralled mentally and wanted to end things every day that of that relapse, so about 7 months. But I recovered. I felt normal again. I began treatment which was a gong show - I started doing self injections of rebif, and whether it was the act of doing the injections or a side effect of the drug but I hated my life every time I went to plunge a needle into myself. I failed a bunch of classes because I felt like shit the majority of the time from the interferon. I switched meds, things got better again. It was a dark few months. Options are nice!

Five years later and I'm still here. I don't use a cane, I work, go to school, have friends, and have had good results with tysabri so far - it's given me increased functionality. It's reassuring to see that there are so many treatments available now. 20 years ago the first medications to alter the course of the disease were made available as four different injectables. Five years ago these were the first line treatments I could choose from. Since then the list of treatments is growing and innovating quickly; three oral treatments have received approval since 2010 (US, 2011 CAN) and researchers are taking convenience and comfort into consideration. Lemtrada, an infusion, was approved in 2014. Zinbryta received FDA approval in the US in the past six months (pending approval in Canada), two additional oral options and one infusion are in phase 3 clinical trials. Another five are being investigated for use in RRMS and 9 drugs (a mix of existing and new options) are being tested for their applications to progressive MS. Stem cells are another emerging treatment receiving attention and reported in the media as successful in reversing MS by rebooting the immune system.

My point is, the knowledge and attention to MS and its patients is growing and developments are being made to reduce long term disability, slow progression, and improve quality of life. Being diagnosed at a young age doesn't seem like such an anomaly anymore, and really, it's a blessing in disguise. The sooner you can find treatment that halts activity the better the chances of heeding permanent damage. The best way to be a self advocate for your health is to understand your options. For me, the best thing I did for myself was learn about MS and confront it. I'll admit I still have shit days, get down on myself, and see a future, miserable self confined to a chair, but it's not all the time and I don't dwell on it like I used to. I accept that I have MS but I'll try my hardest to not let it consume me with fear.

Wow, that wound up long - brownie points if you make it this far! My bad...

/r/MultipleSclerosis Thread