For my 2nd bench warrant on the same ticket to be lifted. Shit's 2000 bucks. I also popped a tire on my car with 3 other bald tires, it's been sitting in my carport since last Monday. I can't even get that popped tire off to put my spare on, but even if I do I got 3 more tires that will pop any day now, so I'd rather weight til I can afford to get all 4 replaced, otherwise the next time I drive another might pop in some random place and I'll destroy the rim trying to ride it back home.

I won't have enough money for rent or my second wave of bills this month (already behind on last month's electricity and internet, waitin for it shut off any day now), so I will have to sell the REST of my gym equipment, all of my guitars except the one worthless electric, the acoustic my friends signed, and the two acoustics my dad left me when he passed, and just MAYBE, MAYBE I will get to keep my apartment for another month. I also got a moped that I wasted money on trying to fix myself. My bicycle was a hand-me-down from a neighbor who moved and didn't want it, and most of the seat stem was sawed off to accommodate for his lack of height, and it hurts my ass like HELL to ride. I'm living off beans and rice (which is not bad, I want calories more than flavor these days anyway) and a gigantic dose of denial mixed with depression, until a miracle pulls me out of this.

I'm so desperate to not be homeless or arrested, I made a Chaturbate account last night, verified it, and I am currently talking myself into using it to try to make tips. I was thinking of doing PG-13 rated guitar playin. Like, I just go shirtless, and MAYBE rub my nipples or workout for extra tips, but for the most part it will be me playing guitar shirtless.

I'm barely getting paid 200 a week at my current job. I'm about to be arrested any day now, with my license suspended, and maybe my car impounded. If I didn't want to stay alive for my friends I'd just kill myself by now, because I just really hate being me right now, so much, my only escape is to be in total denial of what's about to happen.