If I try to open a bottle of expensive champagne by bashing the crap out of it?

1700s, it's actually easy to remember, one, seven, eight, nine, 1789 and then it sorta becomes complicated for a couple of years and who the fuck is Barras and what's the difference between Montagnards and Jacobins and what are the actual fundamental policy differences between Hebert, Marat and Danton, how is the Archbishop of Paris an atheist now and why is everything happening in Paris, do other cities just have no political opinions?

And then Napoleon comes along and everything's fine again, nice, simple, autocrat, chasing widows, makes his family monarchs, making his stepdaughter his sister-in-law, that's good, that's what Europe's used to.

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