Man I can relate to what you’re saying about being mixed. My mix is different, however it resonates.

For me - I’m mixed Native and White American - I’m American born-raised. My dad’s side (White Ashkenazic Jewish American) has been here in the US for 5 generations — they’re very “American” culturally and don’t stand out in NYC. Outside, it does stand out to your average Anglo or Germanic American. And my mom’s side (culturally/tribally Native, genetically mixed) has been here for thousands of years. I used to feel so ashamed for my mix. The cultures are so different from one another, and aren’t exactly “All-American” to many Americans.

I have black curly/wavy hair and dark-ish features (not a dark complexion). I’m so often asked “Where are you ‘really’ from?” I get that people can be curious, but often it’s not just curiosity, but an ‘othering’ question. It’s like being asked by kids how much money your parents make, that sort of thing. It’s like a “Do you belong here?” question. And it sucks, especially when it’s asked by someone in your home state.

People from my own tribe that don’t know me often won’t assume me as one of them until they know which family I come from. And even then, I can read the skepticism.

Many people in general - especially if I’m passing through a smaller town - will often do that double-take and stare as if to say “what is he?”. That doesn’t feel safe. Many people think that’s ridiculous, but in my experience, the bad feeling has been confirmed a few times before. That’s another thread.

My point — I can relate to a lot of what you’re sharing. It sucks to feel “othered”. And many people don’t understand how alone it can feel at times (for me, at least).