If your username was the title of a movie, what would the film be about?

It would be about an attractive and successful woman named Lillien in her thirties who is being accused of killing her late husband and her husband before that. Special Agent Burns gets assigned her case and immediately suspects that Lillien is a gold-digger, however upon meeting her, he realises that she is actually a very pleasant woman. She seduces him and they become a hidden couple. Evidence comes out that her late husband was poisoned and so was her husband before that; so they arrest her on suspicion of murder. Lillien breaks down and speaks about how her ex-boyfriend Donny has been stalking her since they broke up in her early 20's. Donny was an ex-teacher who had disappeared off the grid randomly when he was 28 years old after being caught poisoning his neighbours loud animals. The police release Lillien on bail and begin a manhunt for Donny. Burns and Lillien continue their private relationship, but Burns admits to Lillien that if they cannot find Donny she will probably go down for murder, regardless of the fact that she is innocent. Burns offers to help Lillien go into hiding from the police, to which she accepts. Lillien claims she hasn't got much finances to start somewhere new and so Burns begins to slowly transfer his wealth into her name.

The police can't find Donny and believe that he is either dead or in hiding until they come across records to a mental hospital with records of his name. They check out the lead, whilst Burns is helping Lillien escape the country. Whilst at the hospital, the police realise that Donny was entered into the mental hospital with psychopathic tendencies and severe multiple-personality disorder after poisoning his dance teacher for telling him he couldn't dance a female role.

The mental hospital admits that Donny was a very feminine looking man, who had troubles identifying as a male. The police begin to realise that Donny isn't Lillien's ex-boyfriend, he IS Lillien. They attempt to contact Burns, who's phone is on silent. Burns tells Lillien they need gas and they decide to stop at a station/diner. Lillien asks if they could go inside and grab something to eat. Burns agrees, they sit in the diner and order their food; Burns order tea. Before the tea has arrived at the table, Burns goes to the bathroom to pee, checks his phone and is immediately informed that Lillien is actually Donny. Burns, comes up with a plan to 'kidnap' Lillien by asking her to go outside for a cigarette. He approaches the table, where the food and drink is already laid out, Lillien is eating and drinking like any normal person. Burns mentions how the police have traced Donny and that they know that Lillien is Donny. Lillien doesn't deny this and admits she is Donny and that she had a sex change. Burns brings out his tape recorder and asks her to admit everything, to which she agrees. Burns drinks his tea and immediately begins to choke. She helps a now-dead Burns up, slyly grabbing his wallet, keys and tape recorder whilst the waitress isn't looking. The waitress notices that Burns has seemingly passed out and asks what is wrong. Lillien says that he shot up heroin in the bathroom and has passed out, claiming he has a drug problem. She takes Burns to the car, lying him in the back seat and drives away.

Fast forward a year and six months, the police are still looking for Lillien/Donny and are having a nationwide manhunt after discovering Burns dead in his car which was dumped on the side of the road.

Lillien, now identifying as a woman named Jessica, has wormed her way into the life of another lonely man. She is seen making him a cup of tea and smiling before the movie ends.

/r/AskReddit Thread