Here's my follow up script:
INT. GRITTY, RUN-DOWN GHOSTBUSTERS HQ THAT SUBTLY HIGHLIGHTS THE ISSUES SMALL BUSINESSES FACE WITHOUT RAMMING IT DOWN YOUR THROAT AND ACTUALLY MAKING YOU LAUGH BECAUSE YOU RELATE
A group of entrepreneurial business people, potentially four men, maybe a women as well if she has the qualifications but probably not.
GHOSTBUSTERS MAN #1 I liked the university. They gave us money.
GHOSTBUSTERS MAN #2 witty joke about private industry that dumb dumbs don’t appreciate because capitalism oppresses minorities etc. etc.
They all decide to take advantage of the bank’s exploitative lending systems as a means to highlight to the audience the predicament faced by small people with big ideas.
ENTER WALTER PECK
WALTER PECK You need to hire one women.
GHOSTBUSTERS MAN #3 You forgot to say the magic word.
WALTER PECK YOU NEED TO HIRE ONE WOMEN AND IF YOU DON’T I WILL LYNCH YOU AND FUCKING SHUT YOU DOWN YOU SHITLORD MOTHER FUCKING SEXIST CUNT!
GHOSTBUSTERS MAN #3 You try and shut me down and I’ll sue you for wrongful prosecution.
WALTER PECK This is harassment and I’m going to make sure the world knows about it!
Later that day, the GHOSTBUSTERS are shut down because they failed to meet government guidelines to hire one women, even though they tried to but couldn’t find anyone qualified because the female talent pool in the field of nuclear physics is thin.
GHOSTBUSTERS MAN #2 kills himself because the loan he took out can’t be paid and he loses his home.
GHOSTBUSTERS MAN #3 gets prostate cancer and dies slowly in a state facility where they clean the bed pans only once a week.
GHOSTBUSTERS MAN #1 breaks up with his wife, loses everything and ends up on the street.
GHOSTBUSTERS MAN #4 ends up in a mental institution.
FAST FORWARD: 30 YEARS
MELISSA MCCARTHY Let’s start a Ghostbusters franchise!
KATE MCKINNON Yeah!
LESLIE JONES I’m black so I can get an interest-free business loan! Aww yeah!
KRISTEN WIGG I’m Kristen Wigg. Yeah.
KATE MCKINNON licks protonpack
LESLIE JONES Wow bitch, where’d you get that protonpack?
KATE MCKINNON I got it in the divorce.
LESLIE JONES Aren’t you gay?
KATE MCKINNON Aren’t you black?
LESLIE JONES Yes.
KRISTEN WIGG I’m Kristen Wigg.
CHRIS HEMSWORTH enters.
KRISTEN WIGG Hi I’m Kristen Wigg.
CHRIS HEMSWORTH I’m Chris Hemsw…
KRISTEN WIGG You’re hired hehehe
LESLIE JONES tackles KRISTEN WIGG
LESLIE JONES The power of Patty compels you!
MELISSA MCCARTHY That is so fucking funny!
CHRIS HEMSWORTH Not really. It’s actually really childish and lacks subtlety.
The NEW GHOSTBUSTERS shoot CHRIS HEMSWORTH in the dick.
MELISSA MCCARTHY All men must like this movie.
LESLIE JONES I’m black.
KRISTEN WIGG Hi I’m Kristen Wigg.
KATE MCKINNON I’m gay.
END OF MOVIE