Found a large dildo with obvious shit stains on it at a W not long ago, if that helps with the kinds of hotels I am staying at. Hotel management always comps my stay, upgrades my room, and gives some kind of gift certificate for future visits. As to why I don't go to the news and health department, that makes zero sense if you think about it. I am professional. My time is money, and the hotel usually does their best to make me whole. Why would I bother going to the trouble and risk dealing with the media?!?

Also have ever dealt with a city's health department?!? They tend to ignore serious public health emergencies that actually kill people on a regular basis. As for lawyers, people are sickened and die in hotels, cruise ships, and airplanes everyday, and lawyers have a hard time proving anything. A found wayward dildo and the business behaving professionally isn't cause for a lawsuit.