A pro-tip from a Reddit vet-- large swathes of Reddit are very quick to cry misandry and the general assumption is that every user is a cis/white/het guy unless stated otherwise. When in doubt, people assume that's your frame of reference (with all of the stereotypes therein)

Now that you have explained your intentions, it is clear that you actually agree with the folks that have been downvoting you. Your first comment appeared to imply that if the OP were a guy, people would be treating him far more harshly than they are treating the OP. (There is usually one or two heavily downvoted users who do this on many threads with a woman OP).

If you want to engage in gender-based discussions on here, never assume that people will understand your intentions without explicitly stating them.

I mean, take another read of my comment, but now with the understanding that I'm a fairly young, very outgoing, gay woman. I've ran into lots of issues with people assuming I'm flirting when I'm not, so my advice to the OP comes from a place of realizing how much easier life can be when people aren't given room for ambiguities about romantic intentions. I'm not blaming her for Amar's actions, but 10 years ago I was that girl that "flirted with everyone" and have realized that if I want to be taken seriously and stop ending up on accidental dates that I need to adjust my behavior. Social conventions exist for a reason. If you want to flout them, do so judiciously.

All this is to say, I can completely understand being put off by Reddit. There is an art to posting about contentious topics in ways that leads to fruitful discussions. Until you get the knack, this place can be very unwelcoming.