I've been with my SO for about 10 years and we've been through a whole ton of shit.
Bickering Arguing near physical fighting Breakups (Two of them- 6 months each) Cheating Cancer The list goes on...
At the end of the day I don't buy this whole thing "Love isn't enough" stuff. Because it is. Relationships bring out the absolute worst in people. They bring out our worst qualities. Things get boring, things get ugly, things stop working. I've questioned what I'm doing, who I am, why I'm staying, why I put up with this, why he puts up with this many many times. I simply don't believe in the paradigm of "if it hurts it isn't love" it's up to you to make it work. If it hurts it most certainly is love, If it feels numb and empty then it never was.
Through all of the stuff I've been through with my husband, each time we sit down, we talk about it, we fight about it, we communicate about it. Sometimes it takes 10-15 conversations/arguments about the same thing, each time we talk about it we grow a little bit more and eventually the issue gets resolved. Instead resenting each other a bit more each fight and focusing on the fact that you're fighting (which just builds animosity and resentment), focus on the what. Focus on what caused it to begin. Focus on what they said instead of what you're saying. It's not that hard. Someone wouldn't be yelling at you for no reason. If they're voice is raised they are feeling something. They're not wrong for feeling it, so why are they?
Passion fades, we're all fucked up, we all do stupid shit. We live in a world where if something is broken we throw it away. We need to start living in a world where if something is broken we take the time to fix it. Love is far too conditional. We treat our spouses like last years iPhone. Happiness is up to you.
You need to understand that as a relationship goes on the definition of happiness changes. Happiness changes into more conventional and less profound feeling manifestations. That doesn't meant it's any less beautiful, it's just different.
Imagine yourself coming home after work. You open the door to your home and realize that the beautiful radiant woman you've spent the last however long with is dead. Weeks ago you sat with her at her bedside and watched her fade away, the pain the cancer brought finally slipping away into the void with her. You're standing there in the living room facing an empty house, an empty bed and an empty future. Feel that dispair, that guilt, that longing to see her again.
Now imagine that somehow through the miracle of whatever you get her back, for a day. You get to hear her laugh, see her smile, fuck her, smell her hair, eat food with her. Is the passion back?
Yes. Why?
Because you need it to be there, you want it to be there. She could come back to life and you could go back to your boring routine for that one day. But who in their right fucking mind would do that?
The same as who in their right fucking mind would do that any day simply because we think we have a lot of them to waste.
It's all in the eye of the beholder my friend. Create for yourself what you feel is missing.