I'm a [28 M] who broke up a 12 year relationship with a [28 F], to take time for ourselves and experience another relationship. That relationship has made me question if I can get back with her.

Holy hell. Are you my ex-bf?

"When I met her she wasn't particularly a girl I'd go for, " "We were like best friends, but I always had this inner conflict. I felt uncomfortable introducing her to friends and family when I brought her back home. I guess because she didn't take care of herself as well as I would have liked. She could be rather bossy, looking back on it, I don't know why I put up with some of it, but she mellowed out over the years"

^ if you had this inner conflict why didn't you reason it out why. Why did you string her along for so late! This is exactly what my boy friend did. It hurts me to this day. I'm sure your ex noticed the disconnect. When you are unsure and uncomfortable, it manifests in subtle ways. You can never fake these kinda things. So, it hurts.Not only did my boyfriend not love me genuinely but also wasted my opportunities of meeting potential guys by stringing me along. This make me angry to say the least. If you are exactly what my boyfriend was, this thought may apply. It might be shallow to want a hot girlfriend. Wanting a hot girlfriend and being a hypocrite about it is really pathetic I think. Which was the case with my boyfriend. I wish he hadn't strung along knowing i'm not up to his standards. I dont know if this was the case with you. But, some of what i read makes me think that it might apply to you.

"I kept thinking about these weddings and about marrying her. Friends saying "I'm glad I dated before finding my wife because I know she's the one for me". I never had that." I guess you never did anyway.

"She was so much like me, so simple. Didn't need anything to be happy." ^ The above statement is definitely compatible with the below statement. -_- "or to expel the deep down desire of knowing what it's like with someone else."

You like that girl not because she is simple. You like her because she is an easy target to expel your deep down desire of knowing what its like with someone else.It probably was the case with your ex too.

"I'm really torn because I don't want to play games with either of them. They don't deserve that. What should I do?" You already are I'm afraid. Dont kid yourself.I think you should take a break for a while. Spend time on your own, relax and go through your thoughts. Do a favour and dont talk to either of them for a while. A clarity in thought will come through. I dont think either of them deserve you going by your reasoning and what I have read.

Never ever go ahead with things you are unsure of. Never give people hopes that you are not certain of. You will end up dissappointing yourself and others. Not to mention all the lost opportunities of finding happiness.

/r/relationships Thread