It really struck me when you mentioned how your mom had you looking through your dad's emails. You are the first person I've met who had the same experience as me! My mom had me doing the same thing, and more, like sneaking in their room at night and getting his cell phone so I could tell her the next day who he had been calling and texting. She realllly put me in the middle of their relationship problems, and also used me as her only support. Her dependence on me really blew out of proportion after my first child was born. It became too much, cops were getting called because she kept starting arguments with me... eventually the state stepped in and removed my child from the home because it was just insane on both my part and my mom's part - the way we depended on each other in such a sick way. I moved away for several years, got the help and support I needed, and realized I have every right to say "no" without an explanation. We get along much better now that she knows I will not be her sole support network, and she was basically forced to live without me for a few years. It was hard for me to let go at first, but with good friends and a better understanding of my role in the relationship, I eventually dealt with all the anger and resentment and can now set boundaries with her and not feel horrible about it. I really hope you can relate to my story like I did yours and I hope you find the help you need because it's hard to try and go at it alone. You need to know that "no." is a full sentence. Best thing I ever learned!