I'm an INFP and my best friend is also an INFP.

She gives priority for her boyfriends and other friends, she would hang out with them every day, she would call them back immediately and she might never answer to me (she's not answering to me right now but is talking with other people about tomorrow even though I was the first that suggested we should meet on her free day which is tomorrow and she agreed) because she just forgets.

For knowing each other for nearly 10 years, it sounds like she would know how you would feel and react to this. Within these 10 years, have there been a change of schools, careers, towns, or circle of friends? Have you noticed if she began to become more sociable, take on more school/work projects, or been adjusting to her environment?

I sort of sometimes do it myself, so I understand but I do not do it that often and consistently.

As much as you don’t believe you don’t do it often and consistently, she might believe she doesn’t as well. Perhaps it would be wise to open up communication to her.

We meet once or twice in two weeks I would say and that's fine by me, but we might meet less if I would be less initiative. She also forgets to invite me to her events.

You meet once or twice a week, but if you were to take less initiative you two would meet less, and on top of that she forgets to invite you to events she’s a part of. Sounds to me like some sort of falling out on both ends.

It's as if I was so close to her that eventually I became some faraway person because maybe she thinks that I will always be in her life no matter what, but I need to feel that I am needed at least a little bit.

Again, it sounds to me like this is a falling out based on being caught in things in each other personal lives. I can’t help to feel that she’s unaware with how much you value contact and communication.

I don't know what to do? You all probably think that I'm a jealous dork, I hope I'm not, I'm happy that she has other people in her life, she always had but it never was a problem, because I received enough attention and now I'm just something that is comfortable for her.

I don’t personally find you to be the jealous type. Meeting sparingly throughout the month gives both parties enough space imho. Can you tell us more about how was your relationship was before all this?

I do not want to talk to her, because if I'm wrong she might react in a sensitive manner and also I believe friendliness is not a thing that you demand. It is or it isn't.

The only way you can understand her side is if you ask her what she’s been thinking about. It’s not about who’s wrong or who’s right, it’s a matter of stating how we feel to another person and understanding the situation better through discussion. I can see how friendliness should occur naturally for both parties, but respect should happen regardless of circumstances, especially considering how close you are. I’m not saying she doesn’t respect you, but respect is important and essential to any relationship and therefore should be demanded.

I don't know if it is only in my head or not. If you react negatively to any issue, regardless of whether is mentally, emotionally, or physically, it has automatic validation to be explored. The fact that this is bothering you makes it valid.

To be honest, I just want to disappear from her life for a while and see what happens and if she even notices. I would say taking a mental vacation from this friend wouldn’t be so bad, but doing this would create assumptions around her reaction to your absence. There are times where I go weeks going into months without contacting my friends, but it doesn’t mean I don’t value them. Think of Occam’s Razor.

I also have another best friend who is an INTJ and she said herself that she takes me for granted but she doesn't act like she does. I think what she meant was actually that she considers me loyal and that I would never leave without a good reason.

I’m confused by this. What does your INTJ friend mean when she says she takes you for granted? Like, is this INTJ admitting she takes you for granted? What’s her definition of taking another person for granted?

/r/infp Thread