You are dealing with a very hurt toddler. She has been hurt in ways she cannot describe or fully understand. With the number of times she's been shuffled between caregivers at such a young there's a high chance she probably has attachment disorders. Not to mention possible health issues. Do you know if the child has been exposed to any drugs, either in utero or since her birth? Such exposure will have long term consequences for her. Are you prepared to handle that? Are your husband and other children prepared for that?

If the birthmother cannot do what is required to regain custody are you both prepared to adopt? Are you both ready to handle a possible lifetime of different therapies, counseling, behaviors, or health care needs? Do you even know why this child was removed in the first place and why her mother has not regained custody? What does the birthmother need to accomplish to allow her daughter to come home?

How will having this child in your home effect the custody arrangement with SD's mother? If the 2 year old starts demonstrating negative and/or disruptive behaviors, will that women try to use it as a reason to prevent SD from staying with you guys anymore?

Is your husband truly onboard or is he in any way unsure? Are you both ready to take in this little girl for her own sake? Have you had any sort of relationship with this little girl before?

If you agree to foster this little girl it will be hard. Your relationships will be tested, both in and out of your home. Your whole family needs to be on board and fully committed to having this very hurt little girl join your family. Are you prepared for the worst case scenario that this girl may be too hurt for you guys handle? I have no doubt that you are thinking long and hard about this. Have an open, honest discussion with your husband. Talk about about all the positive and negative consequences this decision will have on you guys as individuals, as a couple, as parents to your current children, and as a family as a whole. Be prepared to list the possible community support you have access to, such as religious leaders, friends, extended family, coworkers/bosses, and support groups. Will they help and support you and your family should you take on this child?

You are looking at a long, heart renching rollercoaster. If you both are ready 100%, then go for it. I send you my best wishes and sincerest hope for a great future. If either of you feel like trying to care for the 2 year old girl is not something you could handle, then it's okay to say no. I send you my best wishes and sincerest hope for a great future.