Hey, your conflict is understandable. Once you get into a relationship, it takes both to make it work. While it's true that love is not enough, it still is the number one reason to do anything and you seem to be clear on that. You need to find a right balance now. Is it possible that you set a plan and a give both of yourselfs time to work in this together? Cause to me, it seems like your SO has a lot to learn (self care in your absence). She will have to understand that you won't be able to be there for her at all times and that there will be tough days even with all the care (I mean, this is the only thing an SO can do anyway; understand BPSO).

Meanwhile, you would have to find a way to give her heads up when your not in a good mindspace so she can go take care of herself in that time. (Your part is keeping her in loop. There's nothing else you can do either.) It will take work and understanding but having good communication is something you will need to work on to have a good relationship with anyone in future anyway..

(Easier said than done, it will be a rocky road before you hit a balance.)

She has a lot to learn and you got to focus on yourself too. It really comes down two big factors- SO's understanding and BPSO's work. 1- After learning about your needs and the ups and downs, does she still want to stay back? 2- Relationships demand a lot of work from BPSO (more than SOs), are you willing to put in that?

You both have to think this well to make a reliable decision. So try and see if you two can work together for a while? Even then if you can't hit a balance, you can always part ways.

If you love someone, they are worth a shot. You don't fall in love everyday. :)