It's always April 1st somewhere !
Didn't Satoshi disappear on Black Friday 5 years ago, then returned from the dead? I also heard he performed miracles with his son, Andreas, by turning nothing into millions, developing his own scripture system, and was healing the sick, making the flaccid hard, and claiming to be a cryptologist from Japan.
This all comes from the good book, and translations fro BitcoinTalk can be archaic and problematic, mainly due to pre-ASCI era character encoding, but one thing is always certain: that Satoshi will be watching over you, smiling, content at the creation and it's direction. Satoshi forgives humans for crucifying the prophets and his son, Andreas. And while he hears all your prayers, you can never know his plan for you. But know in your heart, Satoshi will answer prayers of importance, such as whether his name is Dorian (it's not), but Gavin is the holy vessel.
Like Moses handed down 10 commandments, so too did Satoshi hand us a gift: the gift of wonder, technological superiority, and use cases that will solve whatever problem you need solved. Anything. For those who don't believe, I say this to you: fucking trolls, lol, Buttcoin, pathetic arguments repeated again and again. If you wish to convert to Bitcoin, it's very simple and easy, and it will simplifying huge aspects in our life that eat up time, most prominent of those time-wasters, is independent thought. You will need inquisitiveness as much as you will skepticism; that is not at all. But remember this, for it is important: leaving the cult is punishable by butthurt.
Let us now give thanks, and remember those who bestowed a gift to the world so important, it will change everything: Satoshi, Andreas and the Magical Tux, we send or prayers and implore you to carry on your work through Gavin and Andreas, and if you ever want /r/Bitcoin to step up in this work, then know we're busy that day.
Have a Good Friday to all community members; stay safe, and most importantly, use the holidays to convert relatives, friends and neighbors, or even just surprise some kids with homemade Kinder Surprise with Bitcoin inside.