I'm CF. Husband is not. Husband thought I would change my mind.

Big guy confession here as a result of this post: I read many of the posts here but I myself am not childfree.

My ex and I had a stormy three year courtship. She had been seeing this wealthy guy who was a pilot but something drew her to me. I had been seeing someone before meeting her and really liked that someone but I sensed she had alcohol problems, I was right, and I decided to move on. In the course of all of this on both our parts we never talked about having children, really it was my fault because I never wanted any and thought maybe we could be married without them. It was foolish. Anyway, prior to marrying we had sex all the time successfully using birth control of various kinds. Two months after getting married, I was in the waking up stage on a Saturday morning when I heard my wife mutter in the bathroom, "Holy shit! It's bluer than blue!". So began the parenthood of what would be three wonderful children.

Why did I not want children? One reason was because I myself hated growing up even though I grew up in very good circumstances. I have ADHD with some OCD and a bit of Aspergers thrown in, they didn't have names for everything back then. I was a pain in the ass to everybody, and I knew it. Over the years I was able to learn to deal with my problems and I live a nice successful life although I don't generally associate with too many people. I also didn't want children because I just don't have the patience for them. Bringing up our three ADHD children was the most difficult thing I have ever done, I felt it was a death sentence. In the meantime, the ex loved every minute of it and was the consummate mother. The other reasons I didn't want children are well known throughout the subreddit.

So, for a childfree someone who finds themselves married to a spouse who wants children, you should have discussed it before marrying. If you did, and they were lying, well, you've got a real problem not to mention what else were they lying about. And, you're going to have some extremely rough waters ahead.

/r/childfree Thread