I'm the closest I've ever been to suicide

My advice is quite simply, don’t kill yourself. Life gets hard sometimes, stress can accumulate exponentially onto of all of the day-today bullshit that we have to face leaving you exhausted and with no place to turn to. But is death really worth it? It seems like the only, viable answer, but it isn’t. I promise you, as wrong as it sounds, it isn’t. As cliche as it sounds, life goes on. Here’s a little anecdote:

I (F/23) too have been in your position, albeit with different causes. Growing up I faced verbal and physical abuse, sexual abuse, multiple divorces, moving over continents, losing friends, family members, poverty, bad grades...the works. Yet anyone who knew me will tell you about how big my smile is everyday and how strong my personality is. Still, I came to a point in my life where I dropped out of university because I just couldn’t deal with my life anymore - everything that I would usually hide behind a smile caught up to me and destroyed me, I became entangled in a net of bad choices, debt, depression, and drugs. I lived in my room, lost my job, kept landing in he hospital and refused to continue life. The few friends that I would talk to at that point would insist on me seeking therapy, but I didn’t realize how severe my actions were. Until one day I caught a glimpse of my fallen in face in the mirror and was terrified-I had let my demons take over me and lost myself. In that moment I made the decision to change my life, I gave up everything I had and took the opportunity to move to a different country where I now am healthy, have a 4.2 GPA at a D-1 University, my own car, apartment, great credit, no drug use, the best friends and a man who loves me more than I knew love was possible. Of course this didn’t happen overnight, it took a lot of hard work, tears and sacrifice. During my growth I found peace with myself, and in doing so eradicated all negative influences in my life. I still have problems though, we all do. But if I would have allowed myself to take my life, I would have spent my whole life in misery. I would never have experience the solace, peace and happiness I created for myself. And I really hope that you choose to find it for yourself. I’m unsure about suicide lines in the UK, but I would try to reach out to someone if you feel that you can’t catch yourself. Seeing that you posted on here though means that you are willing to reach out...I hope that this puts the temporality of your situation into perspective. Don’t let what is going on now prohibit you from experiencing happiness the rest of your life. Death is permanent, this isn’t not.

<3

/r/confession Thread