I had positive energy. I said and did nice things because it was flowing out of me. No one forced it, I was trying to be polite or positive.

I had motivation beyond compare. Life felt focused, I knew what was important and what I wanted. I wasnt distracted by the world.

I was ready to have a family, ready to take a bullet no question.

I didn't have any fear or hiding my feelings. No feelings of judgement and felt accepted.

She wasn't the hottest, maybe a 4/10. But my god I thought she was a work of art no matter the makeup.

I felt a real connection when I just looked into her eyes. And it was someone who enjoyed me for me. Wanted to seek me out, was assertive. Not once did I feel pressured to be someone else or any of the standard dating feelings.

She felt like a best friend I could always talk to. Like if she was a man and I wasn't gay I would still fall for her.

And all this came from me, a person who had a very rough childhood. Had to grow up faster. I always felt like a 70+ year old in maturity even when I was 16. And all that just went away.

No effort, no trying to figure out how. She filled a hole I didn't know I had.