Why do you want to risk getting murdered?

Serious question. do you have low self esteem? do you feel guilt and obligation to “fix” people? are you suicidal? has someone in the past convinced you your life is worthless or that you’re a bad person? have you only ever experienced abuse from family and partners so you’re not familiar with what good relationships actually look like? are you afraid of not finding any other guy who wants to be with you? do you feel, on some level, that by being with your rapist you are regaining control over your interaction with him that he initially stole from you?

the answer to at least one of those things is yes, and it’s making you unable to see that he’s going to kill you.