I'm in a dead bedroom. I've tried a lot and I'm not sure what to do anymore. Help? (M30/F29)

I’ve experienced exactly this. The moving goal posts is maddening.
I tried the conversations and she just wasn’t hearing me. Wasn’t interested.

I’ll tell you what I did and probably I will get a lot of downvotes as it’s not emotionally mature at all.

I stopped talking to her. Completely. I did the things I was expected to do around the house. But she basically didn’t exist. I made my own meals. I did my own laundry. Didn’t say anything.

She asked if I wanted a divorce. I said ‘nope’. We went back to silence.

I wrote her a note. I told her that our relationship and being married to her was important to me, but that I didn’t want to live the way we were living. I told her what I needed, why it’s important to me, how it makes me feel close to her, how when I don’t get the physical intimacy for months I want to give her what she needs less and less until I’m no longer giving her much of anything. I get frustrated and sad and that manifests as me being constantly grouchy. I told her since I’m already grouchy and don’t want to interact with her that it’s not that much of a stretch to just not interact with her. I told her the only way she can have a conversation with me is to say she is ready to work on our relationship.

We didn’t talk for another 3 days.

She finally wanted to really talk. She again asked me if I wanted a divorce and I told her no, and that I don’t even consider it. So, you are willing to live with me and not speak? Yes. Why would you do that? Because it’s better than the alternative, see when we don’t speak and I’m not doing all of the various things that you ask me to do for you to be happy, then I’m fairly sure we won’t have any intimacy, and for some reason that’s a lot more peaceful for

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