For whatever it's worth...
Every moment of your life is a chance to get it right. That doesn't mean being happy- or being depressed. It just means not giving up and trying to fix things even if they're broken as hell. As someone who's life is broken as hell, believe me, it barely helps at this state I'm in, but it does help me some. You're never beyond helping yourself until the moment you die.
And you do not want to be beyond helping yourself. You do not want to die. Trust me, you don't. No matter how much it seems like you want to.
Death can be an escape but there will always be something in life that is better. Something that can make things okay or at least a little bit better. Or even make everything okay. Make you happy, get you out of this. I've been on both sides before. I'm sure you have too, or even if you haven't, it exists. You just have to find it. Where ever, whoever or however you do, you just need to find it.
Something to hold on to. Something that's worth it. A purpose, a meaning. Maybe someone. Something that's worth living for, no matter how miserable and indescribably bad life gets. You just have to make it.
Even when it doesn't seem like you have anything left, you always have something. Rock bottom, the end of things where everything is totally hopeless... isn't actually rock bottom. Rock bottom is giving up completely- rock bottom is death. Until you die, there will always be room for you to climb back up. No matter how hard it is and no matter what you may think, you will always have a chance.
To use the vase metaphor that other guy posted on here a little while ago, believe me, no matter how bad and cracked and unmanageable and sad and ugly the vase looks- which, for you, I don't think it does- I've never even seen you or met you and I know you're beautiful. In every way. I know that's cheesy but I'm not kidding, as a person you are amazing. I believe that. Whatever has happened, or whatever you've done or what other people have done. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. What matters is you. You're strong enough to not do this. You're amazing. I genuinely believe that, and I should. After all this, you still are.
That's the philosophy I've had my entire life and even through depression it's helped. I'm not saying it will help you. Or can. In the end the only person who can help you is yourself. You decide. I know that's shitty. I hate deciding things myself, anything. I think about killing myself every day. Death is something that will come to all of us eventually, we can't escape it. But speeding up the process doesn't do anything good. Your chances- which do exist, every second of every day, including right now, go away when you die. You can't do anything because you're dead. Even if that sounds appealing, it isn't. Believe me, it isn't.
Remember that you have those chances.
I'm not trying to be a solution or an end all be all or some shit. I'm just trying to say that I don't want you to die. No one here does. No one does. Even if anyone says they do, they will miss you. Death is something we can't completely comprehend, which is why it seems like it will help. It seems like a good idea. The noose looks pretty until it's killed you. There's a reason no one here is telling you to go through with it.
...Not because we're against you. It's because when any of us have felt like this before and wanted to go through with it, someone was there. Like all of us are now for you. Please, you still have a chance.
You don't deserve to die. None of us do. As humans, as people, as people with feelings that have shit happen to them that we can or can't control, no matter what, none of us deserve this. Depression or death or anything.
We all deserve a chance. But what we don't realize is that we always have that chance. We always have. I can't make you do anything, but I can say that I care. We all do, as much as we possibly can. But in the end it's up to you.
It's not worth it. Death isn't worth it. ...And maybe life isn't either. But the difference is that when you die, nothing can be worth it anymore. You're dead. But as long as you're here, you have a chance. No matter how slim or how big that is or whatever the fuck your situation is, it doesn't matter. None of it affects that chance. Nothing can take that chance away from you. Not until you die.
I can't make you do anything. But please... No matter how bad everything is, no matter how tired you are, that chance is always there. But you have to grab it. You have to take it out of the limbo it's in and use it. You can do that. You can fight, even if fighting hurts, if you fight hard enough, you can make it not hurt. You can help yourself. I know you can.
I know that if I were reading this I'd reject everything I was saying. And the sad part is that I can't stop that. I can't make you do anything. I can just tell you what I think.
And I think I'd miss you, man. We all would. Please...don't go through with this.