I'm done for

Sure, I can try but there's just so much. I barely eat or go outside. I sleep during the day and lie in bed all night listening to audio books or contemplating suicide. I can't get a job mostly because I'm depressed all the time and have social anxiety. I just dont even want to ineract with people. Also ive applied to many jobs since moving here, but nobody's hired me because my credit score is very bad, I dont have college degree because I dropped out 6 years ago due to depression and anxiety. I also dont have any experience or useful skills. Im insecure and uncomfortable in public or around strangers. I just don't fit in society. Im not weird, but I just feel different and out of place in public. Im very empathetic so I get distracted and affected by other people's emotions. So career wise im going nowhere which is why my self esteem is so low. Im broke, in debt, my credit score is ruined and im sleeping on the couch at my moms house at 27 years old. What really devastated my life is my wife leaving me with our two kids 4 months ago. She took everything and left me with nothing bit debt. She hates me, will never let me see my kids and has already replaced me with another. I feel worthless, abandoned, inadequate and hopeless. I deserve it though. I couldn't provide for my family and was addicted to marijuana. Im a failure and feel guilty. Regrets are eating me up from inside every day. Idk why im like this, but I had a really abusive and painful childhood. Most of my life has been traumatic, sad and depressing. I finally felt true happiness with my family, but then lost it which is the most painful thing ive ever experienced. I'm ashamed of myself for taking my family and life for granted. Now I just want to die to end this suffering and nightmare.

/r/depression Thread Parent