I absolutely am not the one to be giving you advice, but I just came here to say 'I feel ya.'
I just came out of a 7 year relationship that started when I was 17 too (nuts!). I want to avoid repeating that situation at all costs. I feel like an animal who is experiencing the sun on her face for the first time in her life after being freed from a cage. But I do feel like I'm missing something, and that's probably an indication that I need to work on myself.
Your current situation with the INFP guy sounds exactly like a platonic situation I have with a fellow ENFP guy (who I met literally days after my relationship ended). It's filling part of the void (and I think I might love him, but he has a legitimate phobia of love/commitment, so we can only be buddies, short of him hooking up with me and then running away). I have a habit of idealizing potential futures with people as you do, and I've absolutely gone too far with it this time, so now I have to spend a huge amount of energy reeling myself in.
I'm only 3 months out of my relationship and I can safely agree that dating is godawful. It's an absolute mind game that I have no time for. I have no interest in casual flings (I'm not the kind of girl who can sleep with someone unless I love them) but also deeply fear getting into a commitment with someone who isn't 'the one'. I also deeply want to experience love, and to love someone fully. I want someone to enjoy me, both physically and mentally, as much as I have learnt to enjoy myself.
I keep telling myself that, eventually, things will happen by themselves.
I will focus on my career, on my never-ending sprawl of ideas and hobbies. I will focus on being kind, giving back, helping others, taking the focus off myself.
But I feel you. I really do.
I have a feeling that, one day, we will both be in love with someone who loves us back, and we will think back to these words and think 'ha, wow.' You'd also be surprised how many incredible people there are near you right now...it's just a matter of meeting them. It will happen when you least expect it.
So, don't give up on love; you are absolutely deserving of love. But don't let it consume you.