I'm a fence sitter, but I'm worried I'll have children because of social pressure being a woman

I'm not sure if it counts as advice per se, but I can share my story so far ... and for reference, I'm a decade older than you. And if there's one thing I'll say it's this "You're still young. You've been a legal adult for 3 years (which is not said to be dismissive), but as a woman you've got another 14+ more years to think about kids and your opinion on whether it's the right decision for you is allowed to oscillate however much it oscillates. That's perfectly okay. Moreover, as adults, one of the hardest things we all have to learn sometimes is how to do what is right for us regardless of the ample societal pressure to do xyz, be xyz, feel xyz, look xyz. I'm perfectly happy with my life ... but is society telling me that I should be otherwise? Sure! I should be thinner. My skin should be clearer. I should be demure but laugh while eating salad. I should be a strong confident woman who don't need no man. I should, I should ... eh, stuff that noise. Be whoever you want to be, and be confident in your life choices. In doing so, other's opinions fade away."

But my story ... so, I'm 31. And at age 21 ... man, I was nowhere near ready to have kids. I kind of just assumed I wouldn't have them (vs the default assumption for many of my peers that they would). I finished college, moved 2000 miles for a job, discovered a whole list of interests I never knew I had, made more friends, broke up with my boyfriend, moved another 2000 miles for my career, became disillusioned with my career, hopped on a plane to 10,000 miles away to try and start afresh, met my now-fiance, moved to his home town, am rebuilding my career in a long-term sustainable manner, getting married next year. Phew what a ride!! And now, 10 years later, I think I actually want a child. I want want /u/AnonMSme describes. Just one mind you as I don't think I could cope with more. And realistically I've some genetic shit that means it might not happen (which FH is accepting of). But my life has gone from one of wanting travel and adventure and a high-flying career, to being happy living in this city, building my career here, and 'settling down' (how cliche am I :) What was once terrifying is now a dream.

All of which is a way of saying ... I know there's a wave of baby-crazy people around you right now. It'll pass. And then come back. And then pass again. But, as with all things, spend a long time thinking about what you want, why you want it, and then be confident in your choices, knowing you're still allowed to change your mind.

/r/Fencesitter Thread