I already commented elsewhere, but I want to reply to this too. You don't have to be a 'normal' person. There's no such thing. I know people are making you feel more abnormal than I could probably ever feel, but it doesn't matter what they think. The only person who has to like who you are is you. Despite being cishet myself I struggled with feeling abnormal for a long time (well into my twenties). I was bullied throughout my childhood and when I got older I was harrassed for being a punk. I hated the fact that I couldn't enter a room or group of people without sticking out like a sore thumb. Sure, I could have dressed normally and cut my hair and it's totally not the same situation as yours, but if I'd done that I would have been just as unhappy because I wouldn't have been me. No matter how much you wish you were 'normal', I don't think that will make you happy. The way I found happiness was to own the fact that I was/am different from other people. It's hard and it must be a million times harder when you have to deal with people's bigotry on top of all that, but there are 7 billion people in the world and even if it doesn't seem like it, a shitload of those people will love you given the time to get to know you. Please don't kill yourself. I tried to kill myself 16 years ago and I'd be lying if I said it was easy to get out of that hole. It took me years, but I did and it was worth it. Now I'm happier than ever and that part of my life is nothing more than a memory to learn from. It doesn't hurt anymore, the memory fades, and best of all nothing external had to change for me to get where I am today. There are still plenty of people who look at me funny or think I'm a lowlife or whatever. But I learned not to care and I found people who love me. You can do the same. You just have to tough it out and work on it, maybe ask for help from a loved one or a professional to give you some more stable footing to work with. I'm rooting for you. I truely believe that happiness is possible for everyone and nobody can take that away from you.